Pippa Middleton and Prince Harry just wouldn't work

Prince Harry and Pippa Middleton

ONE THING you don’t want on your wedding day is to be upstaged by your sister. That’s why in pantomimes the lead actress always insists on ugly sisters.

I knew a pantomime actress whose husband was cheating on her behind her back.

In fairness I and several members of the audience did try to warn her.

Just one day after Kate and William’s wedding and there’s a Pippa Middleton Ass Appreciation Society page set up on Facebook which has amassed more than 130,000 followers.

It makes you wonder whose backsides these people are now neglecting.William Hill are speculating on whether Prince Harry, the world’s most eligible bachelor (in the royal family), will marry his sister-in-law Pippa after complimenting her during the nuptials.

Hills are offering 25-1 on an unlikely Prince/Middleton double.

I can’t see Harry and Pippa working as a couple. Pippa is smart, hard-working, and attractive. She undermines everything the royal family stands for.

Besides Harry is still with on-off girlfriend Chelsy Davy, a woman who looks two parts regality, three parts Readers’ Wives.

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Prince Harry decorated William and Kate's car with balloons and JU5T WED plate

But trust fun-loving Prince Harry to come up with the classic comedy moment - arranging for bride and groom to drive off in a traditional old banger with party balloons and a JU5T WED number plate.

OK, so this old banger was actually Prince Charles's ?350,000 open-topped Aston Martin.

But the time-honoured best man's prank delighted the thousands waiting outside Buckingham Palace - and had millions more watching on TV in fits of giggles.

Wills and Kate grinned broadly as they slowly drove 500 yards down The Mall to Clarence House - to cheers, laughter and applause.

MARRIED couple leave Palace in Aston Martin with "JU5T WED" registration

To complete the happy picture, a yellow Sea King rescue helicopter piloted by Wills' RAF colleagues flew overhead in tribute.

Harry had warned his brother he had a surprise in store. The bonnet of the 41-year-old classic motor sported red, white and blue ribbons and giant bows.

Balloons fluttered from the bumper - some bearing the newlyweds' initials and others shaped as hearts.

With the novelty number plate and an L plate, it was the kind of cheap and cheerful joke seen at ordinary weddings all over Britain - and would have been unthinkable at a posh Royal occasion even a few years ago.

Harry's exuberant prank - and Wills' good-natured response - is typical of the brothers' down-to-earth nature.

They have a lack of stuffiness that has endeared them to Royal fans everywhere - and is a touching reminder of the way their mother Diana won the hearts of millions the world over.

Wills wore a red Irish Guards tunic as he tied the knot but swapped it for an Irish Guards frock coat as he and Kate drove from the Palace in the Aston Martin after a buffet reception for 650 guests.

The helicopter fly-past was a surprise treat for Wills from colleagues in the RAF's Search and Rescue team.

The chopper, which had an RAF flag slung underneath as it circled The Mall, carried crew members from B Flight 22 Squadron, where Wills is a pilot.

It was flown by New Zealand-born squadron leader Holly Steel. Her co-pilot was Flight Lieutenant Lee Turner, awarded the Air Force Cross in March 2009 for helping to save crew members from a stricken ferry off Blackpool.

The fly-by was described as "a fitting tribute to acknowledge Prince William's role as an RAF Search and Rescue Pilot".

Charles's blue 1970 Volante DB6 Mk II was a present from the Queen on his 21st birthday.

He and Diana were pictured enjoying a ride in the car in 1984, three years after their wedding. The Aston Martin has been converted to run on bioethanol distilled from surplus wine by environmentally-conscious Charles. It is kept at Highgrove and clocks up just 300 miles a year.

St James's Palace said: "The Prince of Wales was more than happy to loan the car to the couple for this special journey."

Met officers policing the Royal Wedding arrested 55 people. In the most serious incident a man of 38 was nicked for allegedly indecently assaulting a 14-year-old girl in the Mall crowd.

Others were held for theft, being drunk and disorderly, possessing drugs and criminal damage.

More than a dozen anti-monarchy protesters were arrested for allegedly planning an invasion of a Crown building.

And three people from an anti-capitalist group were seized on the eve of the wedding for plotting a mock execution of a dummy dressed as Prince Andrew.

Scotland Yard's Assistant Commissioner Lynne Owens said: "I am delighted with the way it has gone. We set out to make this event happy and safe. We have achieved that.

"It was extremely good-humoured and the public were brilliant."

A HORSE called Royal Wedding stormed to victory hours after Wills wed. Millions backed the 4-1 chance at Fontwell. Corals' David Stevens said: "The payout could be up to ?10million across the industry."

b.flynn@the-sun.co.uk

By RYAN SABEY

PRINCE Charles paid tribute to Kate yesterday - telling guests at the reception how grateful he was to have her join the family.

Her ex-headmaster Dr Bob Acheson revealed: "He said he was very lucky to have a daughter-in-law like Kate."

Charles also cracked jokes about son William's bald patch at the Buckingham Palace do right after the wedding. A guest said: "He joked about his own bald patch and his son's thinning hair, saying it must be hereditary.

"Everyone found it funny, including William and Kate."

William delighted guests by serving up a chocolate BISCUIT cake - made at his request- alongside the traditional eight-tier wedding cake.

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Prince Harry free to do the 'dirty' on Prince William in his best man speech

Best man Prince Harry is free to do the 'dirty' on his brother - as the Queen will miss his speech.

Harry would probably have had to tone down his delivery if his grandmother had been listening in.

But the monarch won't be present, meaning 'Dirty' Harry has free rein to embarrass Prince William.

The Queen will also not be there to hear Michael Middleton give his father of the bride address - perhaps making it a bit less nerve-wracking for William's new in-law.

Buckingham Palace said the Queen would hear a number of speeches at the lunchtime canapes reception for 650 guests, including family, friends, foreign royals, dignitaries and charity workers.

She will see the bride and groom cutting their lavish multi-tiered wedding cake.

After the first reception draws to a close, the monarch will give over her official London residence for the evening celebrations, allowing revellers to let their hair down at the historic royal residence.

Charles is hosting the black tie bash at the palace for 300 family and friends.

The more intimate celebration, which has no set curfew, will feature dancing as guests party in private.

The Queen will leave Buckingham Palace tomorrow after hosting a lunchtime reception for the bride and groom.

The 85-year-old monarch will head out of the capital with the Duke of Edinburgh for a private weekend, leaving the newlyweds to party the night away at a black tie evening reception with their friends.

A Buckingham Palace spokeswoman said: "The Queen will host the lunchtime reception and then the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh will depart for a private weekend."

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Kate and Harry in wedding dry run

Kate was joined by Prince Harry, her bridesmaids and page boys for the practice run of big day - due to take place on April 29 at Westminster Abbey.

But Prince William's RAF duties meant he had to miss the practice session.

Officials closed down Westminster Abbey to the public so she could have a practice run for her big day.

A St James's Palace spokesman said it was not the first rehearsal or the last.

The spokesman said: "There will be more rehearsals between now and the wedding day. Some will involve the couple, some won't."

Meanwhile, officials also announced that Middleton will spend her last night as a commoner in a five-star hotel next door to Buckingham Palace.

Middleton's close family including her parents and sister Pippa, her maid of honour, will also stay at the luxury family-owned Goring hotel in central London the night before the wedding.

Detailed ceremonial timings for the April 29 wedding day and celebrations were released by St James's Palace today.

They reveal that William and his best man, Prince Harry, will arrive at Westminster Abbey well ahead of the bride.

The brothers are to leave Clarence House at 10.10am in a state limousine, arriving five minutes later, and can expect to have almost 40 minutes to mingle with guests before the ceremony begins.

The precise timings show that the Prince of Wales and Duchess of Cornwall will leave their London home, Clarence House, at 10.38am, arriving four minutes later, while the Queen and Duke of Edinburgh are driven from Buckingham Palace at 10.40am, completing their journey in five minutes.

Miss Middleton and her father, Michael, are expected to be driven to the Abbey just before 11am but she may choose to be a few minutes late to keep the Prince on his toes.

At 12.15pm the bride and groom's carriage procession with a Captain's Escort of the Household Cavalry, followed by the Queen's procession with a Sovereign's Escort of the Household Cavalry, will leave the Abbey for Buckingham Palace.

Crowds outside the Palace will get their first glimpse of the newlyweds at 1.25pm when they join their immediate families on the balcony.

Five minutes later, the happy couple, other members of the Royal Family and the Middletons will see a flypast of three aircraft from the Battle of Britain Memorial Flight - a Lancaster, a Spitfire and a Hurricane.

Then, two Typhoons and two Tornado GR4s will fly past 30 seconds later in a box formation.

ABBA'S Dancing Queen is the bookies' favourite to be the couple's first dance, with Ladbrokes offering 6/4 on them picking the classic. Wedding guest Elton John's songs Candle In The Wind and Something About The Way You Look Tonight are 6/1, while Lionel Ritchie's All Night Long is 8/1.

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